How comfortably do you accept your failures?
Embracing failures is uncomfortable. Suppose you meet someone you'd like to get to know better. Unfortunately, all your efforts at ripening the relationship are rejected by the other person.
Or you take on a new coaching client. After a couple of sessions, your client tells you he or she is finding no value in what you're offering them.
Do these failed efforts leave you upset about your performance? Do they make you reluctant to try the next connection because you're afraid of failing again?
Recently I came across an article by Mark Manson on Medium.com. Manson suggests that the people who are most confident in their performance are those who embrace these failures. They view them as learning experiences and see their own growth in what they learn.
It's Time You Realized Your Limitations
Check out Mark Manson’s article. In their efforts to feel more confident, people often try to mimic what confident people do. Or they try to convince themselves that they lack for nothing and have all they need or could want.
Here’s the fallacy in these strategies. They focus on external factors. If you find comfort in the fact that you don’t have everything, you can gain confidence internally and have an easier time embracing your failures.
- You don’t have everything, and you never will.
- There are some people with whom you won’t have a good relationship. Many of those relationships you should not be in. If you know you failed to connect positively with someone for good reasons of your own, you gain confidence from that failure to connect.
- You can’t do everything – there will always be things you can’t do, or you choose not to do.
- Other people can do some things, actually many things, better than you can. That’s OK. There are many things you should not be doing. (More on that here and here.)
Being Comfortable With Embracing Failures
Steve Sims, whose Bluefishing book I’m now reading (actually, listening to), talks about his keys to doing things. One of his key elements is being comfortable with being uncomfortable. He constantly stretches himself, and he’s very comfortable with failure. He knows he learns from his failures. If he’s continually succeeding, he’s not “stretching” himself enough. And…he gains confidence from stretching himself. He exudes confidence, and you can tell he’s authentic in expressing his confidence.
Mark Manson dives into these ideas and more in his article as he explores the topic of how to gain more confidence. I think you’ll find it a worthwhile read.
|Note: Archived issues of The Unity Community are available here. You can search that page for keywords representing your particular interest. Most of the articles offer suggestions for ways of improving business and personal relationships. Keep in mind that business is done by…people. Every business concern is essentially an inter-personal concern.|
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